Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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