I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Even my vagina gasped.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
