btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
