P.S. I can't hear my feet
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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