yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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