oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
