I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
