just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
