And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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