THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
