I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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