if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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