there was a trapeze. enough said
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
