Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
