just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
