I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I need to calm my uterus...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
