I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
