Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
