im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
