i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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