Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
