he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
