She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
