Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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