Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize