real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize