It's Friday. Sex?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
