She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
