***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
