It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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