so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
