I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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