i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
