how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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