the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
