glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
