What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Randomize
