Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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