yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
