he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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