The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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