who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
