I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
