If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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