you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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