Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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