I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
