Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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