He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
where does the pee come out of this thing
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize