Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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