I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
