chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
