i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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