We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
