Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
How does one acquire holy water?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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