she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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