STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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