Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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