let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize