Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
