I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
