Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
