if i can run in heels then i can drive
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My apartment stinks of burning failure
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
