She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My feet surprised me
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
