The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
