she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
