oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
