Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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