Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize