just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
