oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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