I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
